From a Grain of Sand

The oyster gets one tiny grain of sand inside the shell and that grain of sand then irritates the soft, velvety interior of the oyster; to stop the uncomfortable invasion the oyster starts to cover the grain of sand with a smooth coating.  Turning this intrusive grain into one of the world´s precious stones; something wonderful is caused by the oyster having something happen to it, which caused it discomfort, then finding a way to make it better for itself and for others as well.

Does this sound like something we all do to?  When life gives us something that makes us uncomfortable, we find a way to feel better. We look at ways to smooth it over and get on with our life.  This often causes some sort of changes for us and within us.  As time passes we can look back and see that where we are now, is because of all the uncomfortable situations have caused us to be stronger, learn more and become who we are.  No pearls are the same, no people are the same, no two experiences are the same, but something good can always come of each and every one.

The pearl does not form over night or in a hurry, we do not develop in a hurry either.  This world in now run on speed, fast food, fast communications, fast marriages and quickie divorces, you can even get a degree in 4 weeks on the internet….well to be honest there is not much that you cannot get on the internet!!! Are they worth what they seem to be worth?  We all know that fast food is the world´s worst food nutritionally and for our health, but they are still one of the biggest growth industries on the planet, so we really do not always do what we know is good for us.

This last week I finally managed to catch up with a friend that I have not seen for a while, we sat and chatted for five and a half hours.  It only stopped then because the bar owner wanted to go home!!!  A comfortable chair, in front of a roaring fire, good friend and a bottle or two of vino how great is that!! So why do we leave things that give us great pleasure to the bottom of our own TO DO lists?  We get so wound up in the irritants of life, dealing with things we seem to feel guilty when we have some “pleasure” time.  Mind you the head was not so pleasurable the next day……but it was worth it!!!

On Sunday I got up to a sun filled day with blue skies, it is a definite feel good factor.  I spent the day doing jobs in the house and in the garden again for one reason or another had been left for a while, but every hour or so I stopped made a cuppa and sat and  really looked at my surroundings, we often take people and things for granted,. This week I have rediscovered the pleasure of friendship, the gratitude of what I have and the life I lead.  How easy it has been to get involved in  or focused on the pain or discomfort that life does give us and lose sight of all the good things, all of us are making pearls but at times all we see are the grains of sand.

Face Your Fear

I have just sat and watched the King´s Speech, with its 12 Oscar nominations, all may I say well deserved; it had me enthralled from start to finish. The more I watched it, the more I saw the courage of this man, who just by choices made by others was placed upon our throne.

His story of self doubt and lowered self esteem however is no different to you or me. Life teaches us things along the way and all the money and affluence cannot change that. It is what we retain from those experiences that make us who we are.

No baby is born with any phobias, they are not racist, sexist, homophobic, nor are they born with a stutter, these are all taught by others and accepted by the individual.. Stutters, and twitches are all related to brain function that is why they can be provoked by trauma at any age. These are not to be confused with medical conditions such as cleft palate. Most physical conditions that impede speech are visible from birth.

If like me, you have no memory of George VI as a monarch and his wife Elizabeth was always an old lady, so learning about them as young people was quite an eye opener and helped me understand why the Queen Mother was such a loved person with older generations.

Cruelty, bullying and over powering people can easily bruise and have long term effects on the minds of children. In King George the VI´s case it was a Nanny, every time he was presented to his parents she pinched him to make him cry, so he was handed straight back to her and his parents displeasure was felt, he accumulated the rejections and the preferences for his brother. This Nanny did not leave it there, she then punished him for his bad behaviour by not feeding him. This went on for three years before his parents realized, a huge amount of damage was done in that time.

His father was a stern man who found his son’s speech difficulties tiresome, which only caused the young man more fears and increased the stammer. The reality is that speaking in public is a tremendous gamble every time, to be faced with your worst nightmare along with all the world listening to you must have taken incredible strength and determination.

Rejection is one of the biggest fears of humans, it is physically painful. Plus it stays in our memories as well, so we reinforce the fear every time we think about it. Speaking to one person and getting rejected is like being stabbed, so Public Speaking is like putting yourself up there to be stabbed many times over (and it does happen), so why do people do that unless of course you are a King, Politician, World leader etc….. Because good communication is essential to life, we all do it all day, every day some better than others.

This man who had to change his public name from Albert to King George, because it was seen as more patriotic, stood before a Nation, Commonwealth and the World to motivate people into winning a World War against bullying and dictatorship, by conquering all his own demons and using the tool that had caused him so much pain and anguish…..his voice.

Imagine your worst fear and then having the world watch whilst you faced it…..that will give you just an inkling what this man went through…..or there again you can watch the film and thanks to modern technology you can actually hear the King´s Speech in his own words on You Tube, or from the BBC Pathe Archives.

There are many motivators and influencers in the world, many great names but none more worthy than our own amazing monarch King George VI