"Living Your Life to the Fullest"

Ever wonder how you can tell if you’re living your life in the best possible way? There are some pretty good indicators, and I’ll tell you what they are.

If you know about the work I do, or if you’re a regular receiver my newsletter, you probably know that I believe it’s up to you to create a life that works, that feels right, and that makes you happy. But how in the world can you tell if you’re living your life to the fullest? Well, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will pretty much tell you what you need to know.

For example:

-          Are you doing what you love most of the time? All of us do some things we don’t much care for, but if that’s all you do, you’re in trouble.

-           Do you feel comfortable most of the time? Sure, everyone gets nervous sometimes, but the vast majority of your days shouldn’t be filled with anxiety or fear.

-          Are you willing and able to take risks? - Do you feel free to make mistakes without causing harsh criticism or catastrophe?

-          Do you cut yourself enough slack to fail from time to time without making any undue fuss about it?

-          Do you feel optimistic about the future, and confident that your plans will come to fruition?

-           Do you feel that your life is one in which you can be your best self?

If you have answered “no” to any of these questions, it is important to realize that you are not doing yourself or anyone else a favor by tolerating these conditions. Maybe it’s time to make some changes. Give it some thought.

That´s all very well, I can hear you saying into the newspaper, but my reality does not allow that.  This is a trap we allow ourselves to get into.  We are in charge of our situation, not the situation in charge of us.  We have made choices that have got us into our present situation whatever it is, looking back and wishing things were different, will not change anything nor will being an ostrich and burying our heads and saying there is nothing I can do about it……because there is!!!!!

If you ask any tailor or seamstress they will tell you that a pattern can be laid out several ways on a piece of material, the more knowledge and skills you have to more choices you have.  Learning to make adjustments and look at things in a new way, but to get the result you want is important.

This comes in all areas of our lives, when we are not happy, or settled in ourselves then we are not much good in relationship around us.  Anger, frustration, all gets aimed at our nearest and dearest, this adds to their burden, and then we feel guilt.   The cycle is perpetuated……and gets bigger.

In these times of tightening belts and cutting out luxuries it is easy to let yourself feel hard done by!  It is easy to lose sight of the things that we do actually have and should be grateful for.  They may not be the things we want, but until we get the things we want, be thankful for the things and people who are there.

It is easy to get involved into the way of thinking about what we don´t have and the things that we do not want to happen, but just flipping the thoughts you allow yourself to have, the positive side will then win.  Positive attitude automatically causes our brains to produce hormones that make us feel good, which in turn increases our vitality, energy and drive. Hey presto…….a new outlook on the same situation.

I hear so many people say I will be happy when, I am an adult, I am in a relationship, I am married, I am divorced, I have lost 10 lbs, or even some want to gain that weight, when my hair is straight or curly, when I have a new car, when I can live in a certain type of house, when the kids are grown, when I retire……..at sometime for all of us when I am living in Spain!!!!

Happiness and change start from within each and everyone of us, if you are waiting for somebody to have a magic wand to cause your happiness, then you are going to wait all your life, what a waste as we only get one chance at it……..no guarantees, no time limits, just each day we open our eyes we have a new opportunity to make today how we want it, make it different and enjoy it.

What are you going to achieve today….and the next, and the next….

From a Grain of Sand

The oyster gets one tiny grain of sand inside the shell and that grain of sand then irritates the soft, velvety interior of the oyster; to stop the uncomfortable invasion the oyster starts to cover the grain of sand with a smooth coating.  Turning this intrusive grain into one of the world´s precious stones; something wonderful is caused by the oyster having something happen to it, which caused it discomfort, then finding a way to make it better for itself and for others as well.

Does this sound like something we all do to?  When life gives us something that makes us uncomfortable, we find a way to feel better. We look at ways to smooth it over and get on with our life.  This often causes some sort of changes for us and within us.  As time passes we can look back and see that where we are now, is because of all the uncomfortable situations have caused us to be stronger, learn more and become who we are.  No pearls are the same, no people are the same, no two experiences are the same, but something good can always come of each and every one.

The pearl does not form over night or in a hurry, we do not develop in a hurry either.  This world in now run on speed, fast food, fast communications, fast marriages and quickie divorces, you can even get a degree in 4 weeks on the internet….well to be honest there is not much that you cannot get on the internet!!! Are they worth what they seem to be worth?  We all know that fast food is the world´s worst food nutritionally and for our health, but they are still one of the biggest growth industries on the planet, so we really do not always do what we know is good for us.

This last week I finally managed to catch up with a friend that I have not seen for a while, we sat and chatted for five and a half hours.  It only stopped then because the bar owner wanted to go home!!!  A comfortable chair, in front of a roaring fire, good friend and a bottle or two of vino how great is that!! So why do we leave things that give us great pleasure to the bottom of our own TO DO lists?  We get so wound up in the irritants of life, dealing with things we seem to feel guilty when we have some “pleasure” time.  Mind you the head was not so pleasurable the next day……but it was worth it!!!

On Sunday I got up to a sun filled day with blue skies, it is a definite feel good factor.  I spent the day doing jobs in the house and in the garden again for one reason or another had been left for a while, but every hour or so I stopped made a cuppa and sat and  really looked at my surroundings, we often take people and things for granted,. This week I have rediscovered the pleasure of friendship, the gratitude of what I have and the life I lead.  How easy it has been to get involved in  or focused on the pain or discomfort that life does give us and lose sight of all the good things, all of us are making pearls but at times all we see are the grains of sand.

Will or Won't Power

"Using stubbornness to your Advantage"

Has anyone ever called you stubborn? Would you describe yourself that way? If so, you may be in luck when it comes to making positive changes.

Some people find themselves in trouble a lot because of a personality characteristic that they call stubbornness. You’ve heard of will power. Well, stubbornness is a kind of “won't power.” It causes you to dig in and refuse to budge, and sometimes it drives other people crazy.

But, as Roger and McWilliams point out in their book, Life 101, “Just as fear is also excitement, stubbornness is also determination. It’s simply a matter of shifting the focus from ‘won't power’ back to ‘will power.’ Rather than, ‘I won't get fat,’ change it to ‘I will keep a healthy, slim body.’ Rather than, ‘I won't be around people who don’t support my efforts,’ say ‘I will seek out people who help me do what I want to do in life.’ It’s just a matter of finding the positive opposite and focusing on that, rather than aligning yourself with a negative. Stubbornness, if you use it to advantage, will stand you in good stead when it comes to achieving your goals and living out your values.”

Imagine yourself stubbornly refusing to accept anything but the best in life. Imagine yourself stubbornly holding on to your program of self-improvement and personal growth no matter what. You see what I mean. If you shift your energy from stubbornness to determination, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor.

The great news is this works in all areas of your life, this “trait” has been known to run through out my family, my grandmother was widowed at the age of 32 with 5 children, in those days there were no Benefits, so she had to work hard. My mum had a terrible accident when she was 16 in a paper bag factory her hand got caught in a machine and only through the “stubboness” of her mum refusing to have her hand amputated did she keep it and although never fully recovered the use of it, my mum managed to work, knit, sew all her life. I was taught from an early age to stick at things, see them through, so when there have been times in my own life when I have needed to stick my own heels in and dig down deep inside for that determination, it has always been there.

Just this last weekend, I volunteered in a moment of madness to participate in the 15km walk for charity around Torrmendo lake, although I train regularly walking distances is not in my usual programme. Sunday came, thankfully not raining, got to the starting point and off we go a nice group of us. No sooner had we started but found the ground beneath us was far from solid!!! This is the first walk I have done with diving boots, the soil was wet and heavy mud.

On we went, up slight hills, sliping and squelching along, but the views were amazing and the people I met along the way were friendly and the time seemed to pass easily. By the half way mark I was beginning to feel the full on my muscles, but my stubbon streak set in, there is no way I am asking to get a lift back!!!! So on we went, finally the home stretch was in sight, I stepped up the pace and finished with flying colours, but a gentleman I had been walking with for a lot of the walk had decided to sprint the last uphill part, my won't power came into play there, I will walk it!

After we had finished I found out that this gentleman was 73 years old, now that is what I really call “will” power. It shows no matter how old you are and whatever it is you want to achieve get your “will”power into gear and full speed ahead......